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Management Teen Stress

When we talk about stress, most people think about how we react to problems that are hard to deal with. Sometimes these problems are major events that are sudden or unexpected, such as going through a divorce. Other problems are more common, day-to-day difficulties or strains. Studies with adolescents have found that

A pileup of many life events over a short time is harder for teens than coping with just one event.

Ongoing, day-to-day stresses and strains have a bigger impact on teens than major life events. If a major event (such as divorce) affects teens, it is often because it changes day-to-day aspects of their lives.

What are the most common problems for early adolescents?
• Problems with peers, including romances
• Family issues or problems relating to parents
• School-related problems or issues
• Dealing with their own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors

How do teens cope with stress?
Teens react to difficulties much as adults do. Some common emotional reactions include excitement, fear, worry, anxiety, sadness, and anger. Compared to younger children, teens use more sophisticated coping strategies. As teens get older, they turn more to peers and have greater access to other adults in the community for support. They also have greater access to drugs and alcohol—which are often used by adults to cope with stress. Each teen tries to cope with stress in his or her own way, but there are some general coping patterns.

Problem solving. One way to deal with stress is trying to deal with the problem directly, by getting rid of it or changing the situation. Acting to solve problems often requires planning and, sometimes, learning new skills. For instance, coping with doing poorly in school might require learning study skills and planning how much time to spend on homework. Coping with feeling left out might require learning social skills.

Managing emotions. Managing emotions can be very helpful when dealing with an uncontrollable problem or in the early stages of coping. For instance, blowing off steam, avoidance, and distraction can be important ways of getting ready to cope more directly with difficulties. The most common way young teens cope with stress is by listening to music or by watching TV.

What can I do to help my teen cope with stress? Provide help, encouragement, and support. Encourage your teen to talk about what he or she is going through. Listen carefully. Ask questions so you can understand. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you know what is going on and give advice. Depending on the situation, your child may not want advice. He or she may just want to be understood. If you’re not sure that your teen wants your advice, ask.

· Offer reassurance, encouragement, and support. Be willing to provide verbal or physical comfort, but don’t be discouraged if your teen rejects your efforts or is irritable. These are normal reactions to stress. Be patient. Make it clear that you are there if your child needs you.

· Provide a structured, stable, and predictable home base. Within reason, the same rules, roles, and routines should be kept in your home.

· Encourage your teen to take part in activities that he or she normally enjoys.

· Encourage your child to talk with others to get help, advice, or support. You might suggest other adults whom he or she is close to or respects.

Help your child develop coping skills.
· Model effective coping. Talk about how you deal with your problems. Avoid the use of drugs or alcohol to cope with troubles.

· Help your teen learn and practice problem-solving skills. Work with your teen to figure out problems, and suggest how he or she might cope with difficulties. Make it clear to your teen that he or she has options. You can also teach your teen specific skills for solving problems.

· Help your teen learn and practice ways to manage emotions. Teach that there are safe ways to blow off steam. Provide opportunities for your teen to become involved in activities that are fun and enjoyable. Teach your teen how to see the positive side of things.

If you need help, seek it. Helping teens can sometimes be a discouraging or frustrating task. Be sure to monitor your own levels of stress and take care of yourself. Be willing to seek support from others. The school counselor or social worker, a member of the clergy, or your health-care provider can give information or advice on who might help you.